dark stuff page 3 of 4

the tragedy that is love


You know, when it comes to love, I am at a complete loss. Sure, I guess I've had shit luck, everyone does. Everyone goes through those "bad" relationships. They don't always start off that way, and even when you look back you start to think that maybe they weren't all that bad. I guess my expectations or ideas are different than most, and maybe that's why they don't last long enough or I haven't had as many. I guess that's good in a way. They say it's good to be picky, but then, you don't find anyone. Or on the flip side, no one finds you.


I guess that's why I could do endless drawings over and over about this topic. Drawing symbols and writing stories. You should see how it turns out in some of my sketchbooks. I guess the overall message in most of the drawings is the downside of love, the lack of, and the troubles of. I don't think I've every really done any drawings of couples in love, except 2 portraits I did for a girlfriend for valentine's day and also some wedding invitations for another friend.

Other than that, the theme is always dark. And of course to blend with that feeling, I usually wind up listening to the Violent Femmes. They are so inspirational.
I'm not exactly sure why I threw this octopus in here. I really like the way it turned out and think it would be really cool as a tattoo. I also remember seeing a similar design in some of Charles Addams cartoons, the basis for The Addams Family. But I guess the whole link about it, I guess has to deal with possessiveness and relationships. Best summed up I think, and it might of been influenced by Veruca Salt's second album, titled "Eight Arms to Hold You", which also depicted an octopus on the cover.

	I don't know exactly how to describe the feelings I've had for people, during relationships, during difficult times and such. I guess a lot of it is security, and a feeling of being cared for. I don't think I've ever felt bitter about situations, or even vengeful. I just deal with stuff in my own way, with my drawings. And that is why I must suffer for my art. (ha !)

I think even from life drawing from school, I got used to drawing girls and faces and poses and stuff. I usually try to make them attractive and cute and stuff. Take this girl on the left, for example. She's pretty cute, right ? Yeah, sure, she's not bad looking at all. But she just couldn't keep her hands off other guys. So I chopped them off. (I'm kidding, she's not that great looking).

Well, like I said, I'm not sure where exactly I adopted this attitude. I realize it's not healthy. I think it just adds so much more to my artwork, though. Something extra to think about. But in any case, I've made too much of a tragedy of the whole thing, and I think I'm changing my ways. I'm at a point where I really don't care anymore. It doesn't matter, I don't need it and I could do without it.
The battle of Love vs. Lust is over, and lust has won. It's about time to start seeing some action again and having some fun. That's right, baby, let the good times roll.

and with that said, here's a limerick I take pride in saying I wrote :

you consider it to be a large mass
but I'm actually quite fond of your ass,
my hands and my lips
all over your hips,
a sensation you just cannot pass.

(hey, it beats the man from nantucket)

punishment for my sins ?

Sticks and stones can break my bones, but whips and chains excite me...? Alright, so maybe some of that kinky stuff is kind of fun. The leather, the handcuffs, all that gear, I'm sure it gets in the way, though. This drawing here is actually kind of funny. I remember clearly, I was working at an art supply store, and we had some stencils of people in various poses and also stencils for clothing that you could put on them. All I remember doing was tracing the shape of the woman's body and then I did the rest myself. I think it actually came out pretty well, I don't know where I got the sheep from, but it looks just as surprised to be there.

I've got a whole bunch of drawings like these. People tied up, gagged, in straight jackets. Not sure exactly where they come from, just like most of this stuff. I'm not going to say exactly what they mean to me, I'm not sure if they're obvious or not. I will admit though, for the life of me, I have never been bound, gagged, tied up, locked up, whipped or beaten. Honest. But every so often I feel like I need to get the shit kicked out of me. Adrenaline rush ?

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